Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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