Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
