Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My life is pants optional.
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