I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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