omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
OPIZZABONMYDICK
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
