The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize