just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize