Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
