Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
