yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
