No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize