You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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