there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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