You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
