I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
