i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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