Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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