even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
