No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
