Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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