She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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