You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
