Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
