There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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