You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
