my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize