absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
id be glad to
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
