this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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