I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
