What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
