i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
