I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Shame - the story of my life.
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