This is not my ceiling
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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