He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
