Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
