he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
