So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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