He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
