Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he fucked my hip out of place.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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