This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
