Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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