all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
