You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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