I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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