my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
