ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We need to rekindle our bromance
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
