she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
