you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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