Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
