I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
