After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize