I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
