I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
