she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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