Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
