My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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